Build habits that build your marriage

From Rachel Hollis to Marie Kondo – experts agree, the secret to finding success is by building the habits that get you there.

Your decisions lead to behaviors. Repeat those behaviors enough times and they become habits. Ultimately your habits will shape your life.

What are some habits that build a marriage?

There’s a little bit of funny timing on this post because we’ve been a little off in the Sprout house. We’re not arguing and nothing is really wrong, we’re just not feeling as connected as we usually do. When this happens, that’s when I know that it’s time to take a look at what habits we have that can help bring us back to a place of connection.

Here are some small habits that we do to stay connected to one another.

1. Texting. Neither one of us can text a ton during the work day, but when there’s a free minute or two, we’ll check in on how the day is going, send a funny meme, or even just confirm plans for the evening. Those little things build connection even when we’re apart during the day.
2. Hugging. Coming home and having a really great hug has a grounding effect and reestablishes the physical connection. It helps make the transition from the outside world to family time.
3. Dinner time. We try to eat at the table together every night. Often we’ll go through high/low/hero/buffalo for the day (high and low are the best and worst part of the day, hero is someone who really helped you out, buffalo is anything that was a surprise during the day) or we’ll play two truths and a lie to share about our day. We started doing this because of our 9 year old twins, but honestly, we enjoy it almost as much as they do!

This has been a really busy week. Every night someone had something going on, so a lot of our habits have slipped. I 100% believe that there’s a connection between our habits and our connection.

So here are our options:

we can wallow a bit in the absence of connection, griping and sniping at one another

OR

we can intentionally build those habits back into our days and weeks, which in turn rebuilds our connection.

We choose option 2!

If we move through life basing everything on how we feel in the moment, we’ll miss out on our greater goal. Our feelings change, but the truth of our love and commitment to one another never will. So we’re going to build the habits that build our marriage.

Conversation starters

1. When have you felt disconnected recently? What was contributing to that feeling?
2. When have you felt most connected recently? What was going on for you during that time?
3. What are some habits that you have that build your marriage?